Behind the Mask
by MissingMommy
Summary: Written for 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 challenge. This is twelve snapshots into Lily Luna's life and how her life is such a mess. There's only one person can save her from herself. They should be in chronological order.
1. Hers

A/n- So this is a Lily Luna fic. It is up to you to interpret the second character, since I never spoke his name. There are twelve of these. I did write them separately and out of the order I'm posting them in. Sorry for any confusion. I really hope I have them in the right order.

Hers.

Not mine.

No, never mine.

I can't blame him.

After all, I'm just _plain_.

Not her though, she's so _beautiful_.

She's everything he's ever wanted, unlike me.

Of course he would pick her over me.

I'm average with bright red hair and brown eyes.

No, I will never receive a second glance from him.


	2. Sadness

Sadness.

The emptiness.

The black hole.

The longing I feel.

Will I ever be enough?

When will this feeling go away?

So many unanswered questions fill my mind.

Do you even know that I love you?

That's the only one that has ever been answered.

No, you don't know that I'm in love with you.


	3. Cutting

A/n- So this is where it gets darker. It gets better I promise.

_Disclaimer: _I don't own Harry Potter.

Cutting.

The release.

All the blood.

The bottled up feelings.

It reminds me I'm alive.

I'm reminded that I'm not her.

It always happens after I see him.

Realization sinks in and I'm not even _pretty_.

Once he's gone, I find that razor and cut.

I could never be _pretty_ with scars on my wrists.


	4. Broken

A/n- hey guys, sorry this is so late. I went on my ROTC senior trip (yes, I am a rotc kid.) this weekend. It was completely fun. It was definitely something memorable. But on this trip, I realized that I really like one of my best guy friends, but the problem is I'm going out with another guy. Ugh, why do guys have to be so complicated?

Broken.

Beyond fixable.

Torn up inside.

It wasn't one thing.

He wasn't the only reason.

No, several things caused this brokenness.

Though, nobody saw beneath my strong exterior.

They never saw the scars under my jackets.

They didn't see the evidence of my broken soul.

They couldn't see the cry for help on my wrists.


	5. Scars

Scars.

So many.

Some are faded.

Others are rather new.

I try to hide them.

But it slipped and you saw.

I'll never forget the look of horror.

I never saw you look so upset before.

You demanded to know why and I couldn't say.

You threatened to tell my parents before I finally cried.

A/n- I just broke up with my boyfriend of nearly two years. Reviews would make it so much better. Thanks :)


	6. Questions

Questions.

Unanswerable ones.

He asked "why?"

He could _never_ understand.

I couldn't tell him why.

"You know I'm not perfect, right?"

"Nobody's perfect, Lily; we both know that."

I refused to look him in the eyes.

He always had a remark for everything I say.

"I don't like you hurting yourself, Lily, so please stop."


	7. Acting

Acting.

Always acting.

Always deceiving everyone.

Deceiving everyone but you.

Not since you saw _me._

The real me, not a fake.

You saw what I wanted to hide.

The broken and hurt kid underneath it all.

You saw the evidence of my unhappiness that day.

You're the only one that can see through my death act.


	8. Why

Why?

Why her?

Why not me?

Why can't I stop?

Why can't I get help?

Why do I have to pretend?

Why can't anyone see the real me?

Why can't they see past my deadly act?

Why does it feel wrong, yet feel so right?

Why does he fuel my act by keeping my secret?


	9. Eyes

Eyes.

His eyes.

They're always watching.

I don't like it.

It's not what I wanted.

He wonders what else I'm hiding.

As if I have another major secret.

He doesn't trust me to be by myself.

It really hurts and without thinking, I cut again.

It reminds me that he's right, I shouldn't be alone.


	10. Help

Help.

That's all.

A desperate attempt.

To save my life.

Supposable for my own good.

I needed help he told me.

Facing my parents after that was difficult.

I could see the disappointment in their faces.

I didn't breakdown or show them my true colors.

I felt horrible that they thought they were the reason.


	11. Forgiveness

Forgiveness.

He begged.

It was overwhelming.

I couldn't stay mad.

He was right after all.

I needed help to end it.

Only the scars remain as a reminder.

Of a time when I was so hurt.

Of a time when nobody saw under the masks.

No masks remain and I no longer hide my feelings.


	12. Happy

Happy.

Perfectly happy.

A true smile.

I'm finally truly content.

I found my missing happiness.

Surprisingly, it was never with him.

I learned it couldn't be with him.

I'm finally okay with where my life is.

I've come to terms with a life without him.

He's not the world my entire life revolves around anymore.


End file.
